The cycle of life – The Human point of view
The Human story of the Cycle
“In addition to our linear perception of time, we shouldn’t forget the cyclic nature of life: Creation, Maintenance, Destruction. A tree doesn’t hesitate to drop its leaves when they have served their purpose.”
As humans, we’re born unfamiliar with this world, we have a lot to learn. We’re brought into families that have their views of life, of relationships, of the world order. We first learn how to survive within that tiny microcosm of ours, within our home. We learn that some of our behaviours are viewed at positive, wanted and we get praised for them. Others get us rejected, sent into a time out, abandoned and humiliated. Our statistician brain quickly does the math and we adapt.
We do everything to keep the love of our parents, as in that young age their love means survival. Let’s face it, a baby abandoned by all their caregivers can’t feed themselves, can’t ensure their own safety, can’t build shelter – they’re left to the mercy of the nature. As harsh as it sounds, this is the mechanism that makes us value love and acceptance above all, above our own wants and needs.
The need to belong
When we grow older, we get further socialized into our environment. We continue to learn how our behaviour influences our belonging. We learn how to behave to attract more friends, to avoid punishment, basically to get what we want. We put in place defense mechanisms – any innate desire that is not aligned with “being accepted” will be overridden by another more “appropriate” one in our society.
“95% of who you are by the time you are 35 years old is a set of memorized behaviors and emotional reactions that create an identity subconsciously. 5% of your conscious mind that is plugged into reality is working against 95% of what you’ve memorize subconsciously”
Joe Dispenza
Thrive or survive?
This is a well-meaning mechanism that helps us survive in our environment, long enough to get autonomous. Only being hidden deep in our subconscious, it continues to drive us throughout our lives. And we often get to the point where we have it all, but it doesn’t feel like it. We try to justify it by any means, shaming ourselves for wanting something else, telling ourselves to “love what you have before life teaches you to love what you have lost”. And while gratitude is the force of light, something still feels off.
Until.. Call it what you like – a mid-life crisis, an awakening, a beautiful destruction. There often comes a time where we’re open to realize that the life we’re living is not really ours. It is not aligned with our deepest desires and our true values. At that precise moment we have a choice: to put our blinders back on and force ourselves to continue on the same old path, or to uncover the person who we truly are and create the life of fulfillment we came here to live.
Drop the leaves
Well, going for it is scary! And we built our life on that fear, so imagine what can happen when you shake that foundation.
Change is the only constant in life, but in our western society we often find ourselves stuck in maintenance.
We work hard in our younger days to create a life we will then try to maintain for the rest of our lives. But we often build it on the only ground that was available to us in our younger ages.
Not a bad one, but there may just be a better one.
When we finally decide to go for it, it may look like destruction at first. And it most certainly is. There’s resistance, as we’re driven by our subconscious mind that has stored beliefs that no longer serve us. It’s time to drop them, like a tree drops its leaves in the autumn, only to grow new ones in spring.
And rise!
From caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly – that’s the kind of transformation we undergo. And no, you don’t have to be ready. You don’t even have to believe the story that other butterflies tell you. It’s a step-by-step process, learning through experience and gaining resilience muscle by exercise. Yes, it may be tough. Yes, it is worth the effort. Remember – you’re not alone.
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